50 Reasons Libertarians Are Crazy

"the following are the positions of some prominent and not so prominent libertarians going back to the 1970's and before ...  oh yes virginia, they are batshit crazy"

• legalize blackmail... nice picture of you and jack's wife

• legalize heroin, meth, & glue sniffing... let anyone sell this crap as long as there is a buyer

• sell off the national parks... fuck the commons let's set up the mc donalds's

• abolish laws against dog & cock fighting... just animate property killing each other

• privatize the air you breath, the ground you walk on, the air you breath... you can put that on VISA

• abolish all licensing: ie if you want to be a doctor or lawyer run over to kinko's and have some business cards made up --- laissez faire suckers

• allow for privatized segregation & discrimination (no jews, n*ggers, catholics, sp*cs, women, people over 50, gays, children allowed)

• legalize insider trading... great way to establish confidence in the market

• abolish animal cruelty laws... animal fighting is an economic preference stop the social engineering

* corporations are people... no, corporations are vultures

• patent the dna of all life forms including humans... we own you baby

• legalize child labor... three kids can do the work of one daddy

* voter suppression... elections are the health of the state

• declare smoking a celebration of capitalism... just ask ayn rand

• abolish the americans with disabilities act... crippled bastards always getting in the way

• legalize child selling... isn't a rich baby always better off than a poor one ?

• privatize and sell off the arctic & antarctic... brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, set up the stabuck's

• abolish unions... collective bargaining, huh

• replace state & federal prison guards with walmart like security... can you spell T-R-A-Y-V-O-N

• legalize voluntary slavery... it's already called 9 to 5

• abolish animal cruelty laws... rich women in stilleto's stepping on little mice for the hell of it, now that's cool

• believe FDR & EISENHOWER were communists... yep

• declare selfishness the ultimate virtue... and start a lucrative movement doing so

• re-introduce debtors prisons... waterboard the poor

• allow individuals to own nuclear weapons or whatever armaments they want... kaboooooooooom

• abolish the anti-trust laws... why that would be punishing successful monopolies

• sell off the rivers, lakes, & oceans of the world

• make the poor, sick, & disabled depend on charity instead of the resources of the state... DIE BABY DIE

• clone slaves out of your own dna... it beats working

• replace the federal reserve with a pc and a chair... brilliant

• let the insurance companies take over the judicial system... my mistake they already have

• privatize outer space... robert heinlein wannabes

• denounce the idea of a "social contract"... hurray for me and FUCK YOU !!!

• establish exchanges for the buying & selling of human body parts (by paying living people & the families of the dead)

• incentives for voluntary euthanasia of the old & poor --- (let granny sign her life away so the insurance company won't have to pay as much for medical or long term care)

• abolish mandatory emergency room care... socialist ronald reagan signed this into law 1986

• legalize extortion... well if you're going to legalize blackmail you might as well do this too

* don't forget bribery... extortion, blackmail, bribery --- libertarian trifecta

• abolish/limit medical malpractice suits... caveat emptor

• consider the non-payment of bills as cause for arrest and the use of lethal force... god damn parasites trying to rip off the job creators

• abolish public schools... yeah they produce stupid people like bill gates & warren buffett

• establish private armies in place of the US armed forces... more war, more profit

• re-introduce 18th century style workhouses... we should have killed off all the poor two centuries ago

* make bitcoin the new us currency... backed by the full faith and credit of drug dealers, the russian mafia, and somali pirates

• abolish usury laws... sky's the limit

* pay poor people to be sterilized... it's voluntary isn't it ?

• claim that societies and even families don't exist --- only individuals... a hard sell at christmas time

• end compulsary education... mindless robots servicing the libertarian society

• pre-emptive killing of as much as 40% of islamic peoples... and make the rest objectivists

• allow the disemination of snuff movies & kiddie porn... you don't have to watch it you dirty statist

• let companies sue & imprison whistle blowers... hell didn't the contract say "shut up"

• legalize prostitution & decriminalize pimping... human trafficking is none of anyone's business anyway 

• abolish social security & medicare... let grandma die

• take the remaining native american lands and sell them off for pennies on the dollar... it's not our fault they didn't understand the intricacies of markets
 
* send mercenaries to seize nationalized businesses... profit before non-interventionism

* advocate government and private torture in the right situation... that'll teach 'em what the non agression principle really means

* scream bloody murder when governments collect data yet defend corporations that   collect, hold, and sell more data than any government has ever collected... WELCOME TO LIBERTARIAN HELL